Because I live about an hour’s drive away from where I work, I spend a good bit of each work day driving. Day after day I see that a portion of the human population is comprised of mental midgets. Here are some of the things I’ve noticed:
• Everyone driving slower than you is a moron, and everyone faster than you is an idiot.
• The people that have no problem driving 20 or more miles per hour over the speed limit on regular interstate are the very same people that won’t go one mph over the limit on a bridge. What is it about water that slows them down? Fear that they can’t swim? Some sort of force attraction to water (kind of like the force that makes my golf balls head right for the pond)?
• Tunnels are also a source of slowdown. Fear of the dark? No, they drive 85 mph with headlights on without issue. Fear of enclosed spaces, maybe?
• People can drive around a turn on the highway and maintain speed. Put a merge in the middle of a turn and they drive like Jed Clampett.
• God forbid you ever have a turn in a tunnel on a bridge with a merge. Their brains must just explode with the overloaded input. Which is exactly the situation you have on the Oakland Bay Bridge. It is no wonder the Bay Bridge has the worst traffic in the Bay Area year after year. You might as well get out and walk.
• Road signs are for everyone else on the road, not you. You can do whatever you want.
• People drive much slower than the posted speed limit when a highway patrol is on the road. Do you really think he is going to bust you for driving 65 in a 65 zone? Come on, people!
• And people won’t pass a patrol car, even if it is going below the limit. Do you think it’s a race and you need to let him win?
• Apparently, getting in front of just one more car before forcing your way into a turn lane will be the difference between life and death.
There’s some commercial on TV right now that starts off with, “People are smart.” I beg to differ; people are stupid. Just drive around for a while and you’ll see.